Recollection
by Lauren the Oxymoron
Summary: Claire comes back to camp with something missing and only Charlie knows how to comfort her, but will it completely devastate him?


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Lost.

**A/N:** Ok, I wrote this story a looong time ago. Two weeks before Homecoming, so obviously it's a little outdated. And I realize that this idea has been done and redone and redone, but I swear I wrote it way before ran rampant with the idea. I just discovered about 15 minutes ago how to post a story and now I'm ecstatic, jumping for joy, bouncing off the walls...anything that shows happiness! So, if even one person reads it...it means like, tons to me...cuz I know that people may be bored with this idea, but it's my first story I ever posted and yeah... I have a lot of stories stowed away so, you'll prolly be seeing more of me. Well, I'll quit talking...and just drop me a review saying anything, I'll even accept flames if it means your read it!

**Recollection**

Charlie sat at the fire, reading over and over Claire's journal entries. It made him feel just a little better, knowing that she had feelings for him in return. Somehow it made Charlie feel closer to her, even though he hadn't seen her in over a week and his last days with her were hazy and unclear. Regret still gripped at his consciousness for not pulling through for Claire when she was in dire need. But he would have a chance to redeem himself by searching for this black rock that Claire had so vividly described in her journal. If he could, he would look for it this very instant, but even the impractical Charlie knew the absurdity of this notion. Tomorrow at the earliest time possible Charlie would go out into the jungle and find Claire no matter what. He almost hoped to find Ethan with her, so that he could murder him for all the suffering Charlie had had to endure because of his doings. Claire would see Charlie as her savior, her knight in shining armor and would fall hopelessly in love with him. As cheesy as that sounded Charlie wished with every fiber in his being that it would become a reality. After reading over the few pages that concerned him, Charlie tucked it away in Claire's bags that he swore to protect as if they were Claire herself. He stared into the crackling flames trying desperately to remember those last moments with Claire.

The rustling of the braches of the trees that bordered the caves pulled Charlie from his thoughts. He stared with wide eyes waiting for whatever it was to break through the think vegetation. Relief doused his body when it turned out that it was just Boone and not a boar or polar bear. Boone looked a mess. It was more than the usual scrapes he often returned with after tromping around with Locke all day. A deep cut below his eye look suspiciously like a fingernail scratch. Locke suddenly emerged from the think branches, tightly holding the hands of someone. A female, Charlie realized as he saw the long hair that cascaded over the woman's bowed head. The hair was long and curly. Charlie gasped and squinted his eyes to see if the dark was just playing a cruel trick to his eyes. It couldn't be, but it was!

"Claire!" he called and leapt over to the trio. Claire's head snapped up as she recognized her name.

Charlie immediately threw his arms around her, no longer caring that it plainly showed all the castaways that he liked Claire and had missed her. Besides, most of them already knew it. She was back and Charlie was ecstatic and relieved. Although, he was slightly saddened by her haggard appearance. She had obviously been through hell and back. Charlie soon realized that a familiar bulge missing. Claire had given birth, but the child was no where in sight.

Charlie then felt Claire struggling against him. She pulled her hands out of Locke's grasp and pushed Charlie hard in the chest.

He stumbled backwards and a look of confusion masked his giddy smile.

"Who are you! How do you know my name!" Claire hysterically, her eyes wide with fear.

Charlie looked at the girl he had spent long hours pining over with a quizzical look. It hit Charlie then, and nearly ripped his heart out. She couldn't remember him. It was similar to when Charlie had returned to camp and couldn't remember what horror had befallen him and Claire, only Claire's bout of amnesia was obviously worse, judging by the look she gave him and the unfamiliar surroundings. Would it last as long as Charlie's had? He still couldn't clearly distinct what had happened to him, and it had been over a week. Charlie choked up and felt tears forming in the corner of his blue-gray eyes as Claire looked at him with pure distrust.

Locke seized the chance to grab Claire's hands to restrain her and keep her from running back into the jungle to be captured by Ethan again. Claire screamed a flailed her arms, but Locke quickly caught them and held them tightly behind her back.

"Who are you! Where am I! What happened to my baby!" Claire yelled as loud as she possibly could, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Her shouts attracted everyone and they eyed her warily as Locke tried to calm her by explaining who he was and that he was there to help her. She quieted, but continued to whimper softly. Jack walked over to Boone to interrogate him on what had happened as Kate went to talk to Charlie, who was kneeled on the ground, his head bowed with his hands holding his head. Dry sobs shook his body violently.

"Shh, Charlie. It's okay," Kate said in a soothing voice, trying to comfort him.

"No, it's not bloody okay! It's not fair!" he shouted in reply, lifting his furious gaze up to Kate. Kate looked down at the ground as his eyes bored into hers. "It's not fair…not fair," he murmured over and over again, tears that had been threatening to spill over his cheeks now falling freely.

Soon, everyone left the site, silently thanking the Lord that they weren't in Claire's position, or Charlie's either, for that matter.

Charlie now looked intently at Boone as he gave Jack a full account on all that had happened.

"We were coming back to camp and we heard the bushed rustling and Claire came through and gave us this--look. She obviously didn't remember who we were, so Locke explained everything to her and told her to come back with us. She went wild. She bit, scratched, anything to make us leave her there. Locke finally got hold of her and we came back to camp. She calmed down and began to trust Locke until Charlie ran over. Claire just--forgot again," Boone explained.

Jack nodded, in that doctoral way. "Take her to the caves. She can have the empty one at the very end. We'll set a guard over her in case Ethan comes back. Kate, get Charlie to sleep. Give him some sedatives, they're in my medical bag."

Boone, Locke, and Kate all nodded and heeded Jack's command.

Kate turned to Charlie, "Where are Claire's bags, Charlie?" she said in an unusual soft voice that didn't suit her well.

"I'll go get them," Charlie said, standing up and brushing the back of his hand over his eyes. He walked over to the fire and shouldered Claire's bags. No one noticed as he secretly opened the side pouch and slid her diary into his hoodie pocket.

* * *

Sunlight peeked through the tangled ceiling of leaves. It was a mockery to Charlie. Why should it be so bright and cheery outside when his mood was so dark and gloomy? He gingerly fingered the small blue book and thought dearly of the old Claire. The Claire that had been so happy and trusting, whom he had shared 'peanut butter' with. Not the Claire who's sobs could be heard echoing from her cave. Sayid stood at the mouth of the cave, Locke's knife tucked into his belt. Sighing, Charlie stood up, pocketed the diary and walked over to the cave.

"I don't think it is very wise of you to go in there," Sayid said to him as he reached the entrance.

Charlie cast him a dark look and proceeded into the cave. Charlie's presence went unnoticed by Claire, who continued to sob. He walked over to the plane seat she sat on, her knees tucked up to her chin. Charlie kneeled so that he was level with her red, watery eyes.

"W-who are you?" Claire asked him, thankfully not screaming it for all to hear.

"I'm Charlie," he said hoping that his name would rekindle her memory. When he received no sign of acknowledgement he asked, "And you are?"

"Claire," she told him shakily, in a small voice.

They lapsed into a silence as Claire's tears finally subsided.

"D-do you know where my boyfriend is? T-Thomas?" Claire finally spoke up a tear falling.

It made Charlie want to scream, break down, tell her everything that bastard had done to her. Promise her that he would never do such a thing and love her to the worlds ending, if given the chance. But telling her what Thomas had done and all the horrible things that had happened to her after (as Charlie had found out about from the diary) would scare and hurt Claire even more. Charlie couldn't bear to do that to her.

"I'm sorry, I don't," Charlie finally answered her, his voice conveying no emotion.

"And my b-baby?" she asked, fingering her still expanded stomach.

"I don't know," he told her curtly.

Claire said nothing more. Maybe she had detected the annoyance his voice and that was the reason behind her silence. Soon, despair clutched at her heart again and a wail escaped her lips, shaking her body. Charlie's own heart was shredded just hearing the distress and hurt and anger in her sobbing and knowing he couldn't do anything about it. For a brief second, Charlie hated her. Hated her for making him go through this, after all he had done for her before the abduction and almost dying for her. He recovered from the flash of anger quickly and it just made his heart ache all the more. His own tears welled up in his eyes. He got up and exited the cave, to spare Claire of seeing his own anguish and scaring her even further.

* * *

The day continued much the same. Claire's crying never ceased and drove everyone crazy so that most took refuge at the beach. Jack warned the guard not to let anyone go into the cave unless they had a very good reason to, and to make sure that Charlie stayed out. They were all worried about him. He refused to eat and wouldn't talk to anyone, no matter what they tried. He just stared into the fire and occasionally a tear would slip down his cheek, the only sign that he was still alive.

Night was drawing in and more people were stationed at Claire's cave entrance. The people that had gone to the beach that afternoon returned. Locke was the only one who had dared go in, to give Claire food. As darkness deepened Claire began to shriek and everyone was sure she would scream herself hoarse, and then finally be quiet. But the screaming continued and intensified. It was then that Charlie came up with an idea. He stood up, grabbed his guitar, and walked over to the cave. Immediately, Sawyer, Jack, and Kate stopped him.

"You can't go in there, Charlie. It'll only make it worse for both of you," Jack told him, with actual concern in his voice.

"I'm not going to talk to her, just play for her. You can come in and make sure if you want," Charlie explained desperately. He knew his playing would make her stop crying, if only they would let him.

Jack sighed and looked at Kate. It seemed harmless, but with the state Claire and Charlie were both in…

"Let him go," Kate said simply.

Jack nodded and stepped aside. Charlie walked in and was unnoticed by Claire, who was curled up the chair. He couldn't bear to look at her, so he sat next to the seat, facing the opposite wall. She quieted a bit when he began to strum his guitar and softly sing. Charlie could still hear her whimpering and occasionally murmuring Thomas' name, which sent pangs to his heart. Eventually her breathing became slow and even, after at least an hour of Charlie playing. It was a great relief to everyone when Charlie left the cave and took his usual perch. Everyone knew Claire must have been asleep, because not a peep came out of the cave.

Rose approached Charlie at the fire and sat down to his left. "That was very sweet of you, Charlie."

He didn't answer her, or even look at her.

"I know it's hard. But continue to have faith. My husband will be back, and so will Claire," Rose said in her soothing voice, that comforted Charlie.

His face crumbled and a few tears fell. "I know she'll be back," he finally managed to get out. The sureness in his voice surprised even him.

* * *

The next day Claire could be heard crying and screaming again. The previous day had been wiped clean and it was back to square one.

"Is every day going to be like this?" Kate asked Jack while he was filling up water bottles and preparing food to bring into Claire.

"I don't know. Until she gets her memory back, I suppose. But who knows when that will be," Jack said.

Kate nodded and was silent for awhile. "You know, Claire kept a diary. Maybe reading what happened to her in her handwriting will help?" Kate suggested.

"She did? We should try, if it doesn't go well, she'll just forget tomorrow anyway. Where is it?"

"Maybe Charlie has it?"

Jack looked at Charlie, who was (as usual) sitting at the fire. "Maybe you should ask him," Jack suggested, looking up at Kate. He knew she would be better at those sort of things.

"Thought you might ask," Kate said, rolling her eyes. She walked over to Charlie and kneeled down to him.

"How are you doing?"

No reply.

"Do you know what happened to Claire's diary?" Kate asked gently.

Charlie didn't say anything. He didn't want to give up the diary. As selfish as it was, it was the one thing that connected him to the old Claire. Surrendering the diary would almost be like severing all ties with her, and Charlie never wanted to do that. On the other hand, it could help bring her back. Slowly, he pulled it from his pocket. He stroked it one last time and handed it to Kate.

"Thank you, Charlie," Kate said and walked back over to Jack.

Charlie watched as they entered the cave with the food and diary. Claire became quiet and the castaways were granted about an hour of silence while Claire read about the last few months. Then the shrieks returned, louder than ever.

"How could Thomas do that to me! Why did I listen to a psychic! And who's Charlie!"

The last yell shattered Charlie's heart, but he knew what he had to do. He reached for his guitar and walked into Claire's cave as Jack and Kate left it. No one made a move to stop him, so he played for hours on end, comforting Claire. It made her stop crying and a couple times she even hummed along, which pleased Charlie. But nothing, nothing, could erase the sound of Claire's voice yelling "Who's Charlie!"

* * *

The weeks after were much the same. They never showed Claire the diary again, and it was returned to Charlie. Everyday he would sit in her cave and play for her until his fingers bled. No one else entered the cave and Charlie rarely left. Everyday she forgot him again, but he was there without fail. They continued to guard her cave and went on fruitless searches for her baby. Slowly, Claire became the least of everyone's worries, as long as Charlie was there to play, which he was.

Charlie woke up two weeks after Claire had read the diary. He was still upset about her wail concerning him, even though he knew she couldn't have helped it. He got up from his 'bed' and took a moments to read the last couple pages of Claire's diary. Then he picked up his guitar and walked over to her cave. He was surprised to see her awake, as she hadn't been crying and yelling. He sat down in the usual spot and began to play. Some people thought he was crazy, continuing to have faith that she would remember. But most just saw him as a sort of hero, relieving them of the burden that was Claire. Charlie knew she would be back, and prayed for it every night. And he would be there, playing.

"Charlie?" Claire said suddenly.

He stopped abruptly, his finger still over the G chord. He hadn't told her his name, like he did on the days she asked who he was. So that meant she **_REMEMBERED_**. Charlie felt his breath catch. It couldn't be! It was too good to be true.

"Yes, Claire?" he finally asked in his scratchy voice, trying to mask his excitement. He took a risk by calling her by her name, which would upset her if she didn't remember.

"Do you still have the peanut butter?"

**THE END**


End file.
